My Only Job... Dustin

This next statement is silly. 

I have moments of frustration at not being “productive.” I know, I know. 

I’m keeping up with my client calls and coach training programs well and even wrote a few chapters in my writing project, but find myself with what seems like lots of time. I have short spikes of feeling great and generally feel pretty good which is amazing at the necessary lack of sleep I have been getting. The reasons for sleep disturbance in the hospital is obvious but at home it started with catheter discomfort and now it is because I’m supposed to not go an hour without peeing. I find myself quite optimistic about what could be in a few months when that restriction lifts. 

Kenzie doesn’t believe I know what feeling great, or pretty good feels like. I have been a professional patient for a while or as Kenzie says I am really really good and being really really sick. What if she is right? I already hear her responding she is always right.

The above frustration moments don’t come from my physical energy or its lack, I have learned to navigate that well. It is my brain. My mind is currently showing up as foggy, small, confused, restless. It’s the drugs. My clarity will improve as I adapt and/or the doses decrease I am certain.

Save that second night in the hospital I haven’t taken any pain meds (and that was pointless attempt at getting some sleep). My transplant pharmacist (who was great) said that people usually get a surge in pain on day three (when the anesthesia wears off) or a week post (today). Nothing, not really.

I wasn’t trying to be a tough guy but the discomfort seemed protective not unnerving and told me when to rest. Pain management is complicated, but the two handful of pills I was given seems excessive. I leave that issue for later discussion in a more fitting forum.

In reality, I have only one job and it’s requirements are simple: Take my meds on time, drink and pee frequently, and hang out with Bennett in between. I will be pushing my coaching practice forward in the next few months and actively opening more slots and with that comes a myriad of projects. But now, I just need to do what I need to do and honor Anna's gift by taking the best next step for my recovery... again and again.