No Promises, only a Path... Dustin

No promises. I thrive when things are moving, my personal work and coaching around the CliftonStrengths assessment has gifted me with a productive re-framing of my talents and tendencies. Namely, I see patterns best when things are moving and I have little qualms instigating movement if necessary. This was true in my strength/movement training as I need to see someone walk, lift or perform to know where to go next with their training and is proving true with my coaching delivery and  Practice development as well. What I am just now seeing is the contentment I now reside in is likely a product of the so many moving parts that blur just past my control. I have plans made for this week, season and next year and have zero trust that they will still be the same plans next week, season or year. I am not in control but this is when and where I thrive in what Anna shared today as the eye of the storm. No promises.
 
Only a path. Last summer after the stroke, multiple hospital stays, complete kidney failure, uremia I finally let go. It was few weeks after dialysis had begun and I was still holding on to this image of how I was “supposed” to be and what was “supposed” to happen. I had a heroic idea of how I would handle it which I completely proved unable to live up to and this expectation finally broke me completely and beautifully. It wasn’t a thunderous moment, but a quiet one. I suddenly had an overwhelming compassion for myself and my situation. I remember well, my dear friend and social media angel, Beth calling me on my shit preemptively to this shift. She picked me up from dialysis as I still wasn’t clear to drive and I shared almost unconsciously that I wasn’t living up to my standards and that being aware of it wasn’t getting me any further from the pressure of it. What particular words were exchanged slip from memory but the notion that the suffering that I was heaping upon my situation was optional and self-generated and I was free to keep piling on until the lesson was learned. I just started making use of what I had. Dialysis time became MBA paper-writing time. Post-treatment energy fall-out became “quiet time” for Bennett and I. Lack of energy became a life prioritization tool. Necessity for business change lead me peel away what I do best until something akin to the coaching practice I am now find myself. Although Anna’s involvement in my healing journey causes me to question it, but I don’t truly believe things happen for a reason… even If I think it is a useful thing to believe. Making the best use of what life offers you in every moment seems to be the only way to move forward, productively. Only a path.

Accompanying soundtrack below...